I have found that parenting, more than anything else, has challenged my self-esteem and feelings of competence. I do not believe that my parents second guessed themselves as much as I have. Being blessed with strong willed, opinionated children, I have struggled to balance discipline and independence. But now that they are getting to be young adults, I've realized that while they certainly do not do everything that I would like them to do or strive to do, I really do like the people that they are turning out to be. They both love the Lord and are generally thoughtful to others and can be hard workers when they put their minds to it. However, I was rewarded (along with my husband - she said that it was about both of us) with a passing grade by one of our daughters as a result of a college summer english class. They were reading a book of essays and were required to write papers in response to what they read. Apparently one of the the original authors had a fairly dark view of what she learned in her home, but my daughter wrote the following in response to the question of what her parents had "said" to her over the years.
She wrote ---
"Mom would say that the Lord loves you and you are loved by your Dad and I very much. Do your chores and then you can play with your friends. You must go to church every week unless you're sick or you're not feeling good. If you need help don't be afraid to ask quesions. Don't worry all the time, at the end it is going to be OK. Do not smoke and take drugs because it will harm you and can kill you. Do not lie. I'ts better to tell the truth than having the guilt hover over you. It hurts you and the peole around ou. Do not sleep & have sex with a man before you are married. It's a gift that you only give to your husband. You will just hurt yourself if you do. It's a bonding and uniting between you and that person. Just ignore those people that are teasing you then they will stop. Do good in school and learn. Remember you are loved more than you know. We are right behind you."
What do you know? All those times that I thought no one was listening and that I was only talking to myself, well, some of it was seeping in ~
Her teacher wrote -- "Beautiful! Wonderful ladvice from very loving and wise parents :-)"
What do you know, I actually am a successful parent!
1 comment:
Beautiful! I often wonder how often my words are really listened to so I'm holding out hope that it's sinking in. I feel like I'm a broken record saying the same things over and over again but, truly, the really are listening just like we did.....keeping it positive because that's what I need them to remember!
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